Bad Parking Tickets

I have just been to town and upon returning to my car discovered that some incompetent fool had parked their oversized monster truck of a 4x4 close to my car. This meant I had to climb in through the passenger door and climb across the seats to reach the drivers seat.

This got me thinking, whilst there is nothing illegal, there should be some form of punishment for such idiocy. Now having recently giving up smoking my temper has been short to say the least, and I was half tempted to open my door to leave a nice dent in their car to vent my anger, however this would be illegal so I refrained.

Driving home I came up with a simple solution, The Bad Parking Ticket.

Similar to a parking ticket but without the fine, it would be placed on the windshield of any badly parked car. Inside would be a graphic letter pointing out the drivers iinability to park and several insults to make them feel bad about it.

Such examples of bad parking I constantly see are those who fail to park in the centre of a parking space. Those who go over way over the lines of a parking bay for no logical reason other than they must be blind. People who park on corners of roads meaning you have to gamble pulling out and hope there is nothing oncoming. People who park several metres away from the curbside.

Here is my example of what could be written inside:

"Dear incompetent idiot,

You have unsuccesfully managed to reverse your vehicle between the clearly marked lines of the car parking bay. I can only assume that you were born with a mental deficiency that has left you with the inability to comprehend that your car goes between the lines and not over them.

Furthermore upon exiting your vehicle where you can clearly see your awful parking, your brain deficiency has prevented you from processing a simple thought of 'hmmm Ive F**cked this parking up, I am a fool, I better move my car and try again.'

Even worse, just to show the world how much of a dumbass you are, you have returned to your car after getting your pay and display ticket and placed it at the windshield. Your brain deficiency clearly indicates you are such an idiot that having returned to your car you still fail to realise how bad your parking actually is.

Please do the world a favour and learn how to park your car. Its very simple. PARK BETWEEN THE LINES. Perhaps you should tattoo it on your head so that your brain does not have to cope with the hard task of remembering something that everybody else manages to do.

If you still do not know how to park your car after this, then please do the world a favour and remove yourself from the genepool. You have defective DNA and it would be a crime for you to reproduce. If you are unsure what this is hinting at, then I will make it simple. Go out back and shoot yourself in the head.

YOU ARE A TWAT"

Hopefully a government official will read this blog and put my theory into practice